Well, now I've got my head together and I can think.  Its been a long sad day.  After I posted here earlier, I had a ton of phone calls to make to say my thank you's, and after that was done, I was so emotionally exhausted I just laid down on the bed and fell asleep for a few hours.  Since I woke up, I've had a few hours to think, and I need to get some of it out in writing - this may be a bit long winded, so bear with me, ok?

We've always loved Harpo and took care of him the best we could, but now that he's gone, I'm amazed at the big hole he left behind.  He wasn't soft and cuddly, he wasn't what I'd call "loveable" or affectionate, and he didn't wag his tail or lick my hand - in reality, he was very standoffish, pushy, and had a bad attitude that wouldn't quit.  He was in a perpetual state of horniness that, at times, made life with him a bit uncomfortable, and when he got angry, the best thing to do was get out of his way.  He ate everything that remotely resembled food, and he had no manners whatsoever - and he made no excuses for it.  He didn't care - he liked things the way he liked them, and when he didn't get his way, he damn sure let you know about it.  In short, when Harpo wasn't sleeping, he was a real pain in the ass.  But, regardless, we were extremely attached to him - actually, more than we realized, until today.  Living with Harpo was sort of like living with an ornery old man - you just HAD to love him, in spite of his ways.

As my mom says, when a loved one (human AND animal) dies, there are always guilt feelings.  What if I had done this, what if I hadn't done that, did I do the right thing, if only....  I'll admit, I'm having some of these feelings now - looking back, there were signs that I could have picked up on, but didn't, because I had absolutely no way of knowing.  They say hind-sight is 20/20...  But in my heart, I know Harpo had a good life here, and I know I did all that I could for him.  We learn from our experiences, and thats all we can do.  Thats why I'm leaving Harpo's website and blog up - hopefully others can learn from my experience.  Harpo was only 8 or 9 years old, and he was with us just shy of 5 years, but with this website and blog, his short life is given a purpose.  If only our lives, as humans, all had such a purpose, we could all die happy.  If only Harpo knew...

We buried Harpo in the North Hole this evening, as the sun was setting.  Thats the time of day he headed back down over the hill anyway, so it was appropriate.  His burial didn't come off without a hitch tho, as the trick was getting him down the hole as far as we could - ideally, I wanted him to end up all the way at the bottom, but I knew that may not be possible, given the depth of the hole, which, at last check was approximately 20 feet - and that was in the spring of 2005, so God knows how much deeper Harpo dug it out since. 

Well, I sat and cried with him for a while, said all the necessary good-byes, and then I sat him down at the mouth of the burrow as far down as I could reach.  Wesley used an old pole from an old pool skimmer that was like 15-20 feet long, to push him by his gular skutes, backwards down the hole. I couldn't help but think of that scene from Titanic, when Leonardo DiCaprio died - watching him sink deeper and deeper until you couldn't see him anymore.  Problem was, Harpo dug that tunnel so that it curved to the left, and he got wedged in about 6 or 8 feet down - well, that wasn't deep enough for my liking, but neither of us could "un-wedge" him with the pole. 

So, Wesley took it upon himself to CRAWL DOWN INTO THE HOLE to free Harpo.  He went in head first, and kept going until he could get a hold on him.  Finally, only Wesley's legs were above ground, from about his knees down - I had to hold his feet to keep him from sliding further, and when he got Harpo free, I had to literally PULL HIM OUT by his ankles!!!  Quite a scene, I'm sure, as Wesley is over 6 feet tall, and we're doing this on a 45 degree slope...  Now, I ask you, how many husbands do you know that would do something like that in order to bury his wife's big ol' pain in the ass tortoise???

Anyway, it was a pretty humid evening, and my clothes were all sticking to me, so I wasn't surprised that when I bent down to get Wesley's feet, I heard my pants rip.  I didn't pay much attention to it tho, because with my husband practically buried alive, my clothing was the least of my worries.  So when we got Wesley above ground, I continued to maneuver the pole to push Harpo deeper into the hole - this required a bit of work and took a while to accomplish.  I got him down about 12 or 15 feet, and he got wedged again.  Much to my surprise <G> Wesley didn't want to crawl down the hole again to un-wedge him - LOL!!!  So thats where we left him, and finished up.

We stood there on the hill and talked about Harpo for a while, and then headed back up the hill towards the house.  Wesley was behind me, and he said "I sure hope the neighbors don't have binoculars" and I knew immediately what he meant - I reached back and felt that the seat of my pants had ripped all the way from the crotch to the waistband, and my whole rear end was hanging out!!!  And it HAD BEEN the whole time I was working Harpo down the hole!  I was totally exposed to our neighbors and traffic on the road - AHHHHHHH!!!  Oh well, at least we got a few laughs out of an otherwise sad situation...

Well folks, I'm afraid this is the end of Harpo's web journal.  Between posting on ATW about his antics and writing about him here, its been my pleasure to share him with all of you, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this journey with me.  And what a journey its been!  I will maintain this site so that others can learn from it - I may add to the site about my leopards and redfoots, but I don't foresee any more blogging.  There may be another sulcata in our future one day, as it seems like a waste to have all this property without a sulcata stomping around it, but it just won't be the same.  Harpo was one of a kind - there will never be another like him. 

Rest in peace ol' buddy - until we meet again...

Kathy